Change. It's Admirable.

Pinpointing your flaws, focusing on your discrepancies, highlighting your weaknesses, it's one of the hardest things to admit, but an internal conflict we must overcome if we want to initiate change.


Change, it’s a word most of us don't like. There's some power in it that makes us a little weary and puts a little butterfly in our stomachs. We like routines, and although somewhat monotonous, regular schedules that don't vary or, for lack of a better word, change. But, here I am, living out that word, sitting in an office in Midtown Manhattan, a populated city of almost 19 million people, in a city that's constantly transforming but a place where change is not only begged for at almost every street corner, but desired for many. In a place where countless dream to live, I have witnessed many longing for an escape. And then, there's me.


Somehow along this road I've traveled, I've managed to land a job working for an extremely successful company that people would wish to, with doors that have continuously been opened and hopes that have increasingly been met. Some say it's a testimony as to how I've lived my life so far and the decisions that I've made, but I say, it's all God.


I don't give enough credit to where it is due, and when I look around and evaluate my present situation I realize how blessed I am and how selfish it is to continue living my life the way I want to when God, who has given me all of it, demands differently. As my dad constantly reminds me, and as Casting Crowns sing, "it’s a slow fade." You let a little go here, and a little go there, and before you know it, you're at a place in your life you never expected. You've become a person you don't even know. You look around and don't know where you even are. You can't remember what paths you took or what roads you traveled along the way that have you gotten you here, and the trek seems impossible to reverse. This realization is usually where we give up, so we tell ourselves we like the life we're living, we reason with ourselves that we're just like everyone else we know, and we're having fun and we're doing what WE want. All along the way, Satan continues to whisper in our ear, convincing us of just how dirty we are, asking how we really can go back at this point, reminding us what all our friends are doing, and what life is like in this day and age, and how you're still a good person despite a few little sins, and so we believe the whispers, and we believe the excuses that we make for ourselves. We defend who we've become because we refuse to succumb.


It's human nature to fail, failure is an instilled decay forced upon everyone the day sin entered the world. Being perfect is an effortless battle that we all lose, daily. It's easy to fall, what we must remember though, is how easy it is to get back, that although getting there may take a little work, but is just as easy because of this beautiful thing called grace.


Because no matter where we've been, or who we've been, or who we are right now, God's grace is the one thing that hasn't changed. And although we forget it, we ignore it, we reject it - we will never be denied it.